








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 401 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1063 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1148 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1496 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1657 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $774,473 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 491 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polarix | 55% | 98 |
| #2 | KampaSimpukka | 51% | 182 |
| #3 | Kurikka | 51% | 61 |
| #4 | NoxoNi | 50% | 187 |
| #5 | Nyke | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | NoxoNi | 50% | 187 |
| #5 | Nyke | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | ♥ Leiskaa ♥ | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | Konna | 47% | 124 |
| #8 | Pentti Köyri | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoxoNi | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | KampaSimpukka | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Konna | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Polarix | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | ♥ Leiskaa ♥ | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoxoNi | 722 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | KampaSimpukka | 423 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Konna | 236 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Polarix | 185 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Kurikka | 152 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adeby | +2.12 | 70 | 55 |
| #2 | NoxoNi | +1.77 | 71 | 75 |
| #3 | Polarix | +0.86 | 59 | 64 |
| #4 | Nyke | +0.43 | 81 | 54 |
| #5 | Kurikka | +0.16 | 57 | 67 |





