








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1097 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1827 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1332 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 489 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $616,178 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Leiskaa ♥ | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Adeby | 55% | 98 |
| #3 | NoxoNi | 54% | 123 |
| #4 | KampaSimpukka | 54% | 124 |
| #5 | Konna | 53% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KampaSimpukka | 54% | 124 |
| #5 | Konna | 53% | 90 |
| #6 | Kurikka | 52% | 52 |
| #7 | Nyke | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | Pentti Köyri | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KampaSimpukka | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | NoxoNi | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Adeby | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ♥ Leiskaa ♥ | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Konna | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoxoNi | 478 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | KampaSimpukka | 278 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Konna | 183 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kurikka | 145 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Adeby | 144 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adeby | +2.70 | 74 | 55 |
| #2 | NoxoNi | +2.29 | 73 | 76 |
| #3 | Kurikka | +1.32 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | Polarix | +0.96 | 57 | 65 |
| #5 | Pentti Köyri | -0.76 | 48 | 77 |





