








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,715 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4297 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,514 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3829 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2676 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3947 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3062 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,560,375 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | birdcat??? | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | sk | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | Jehovah's Witnesses | 61% | 79 |
| #4 | kebaba | 55% | 151 |
| #5 | tostino | 54% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iz | 14 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Mattefs | 13 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | tostino | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Unicornpooper | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | kebaba | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kebaba | 571 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | Unicornpooper | 431 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #3 | tostino | 239 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | sk | 123 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jehovah's Witnesses | 121 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | birdcat??? | +3.90 | 60 | 67 |
| #2 | sk | +3.35 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | Jehovah's Witnesses | +2.69 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | 老Seven | +2.19 | 77 | 71 |
| #5 | skull | +1.94 | 81 | 58 |





