








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4482 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2663 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2128 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1779 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $975,465 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 563 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mattefs | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Ca$h | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | sk | 61% | 31 |
| #4 | iz | 60% | 47 |
| #5 | tostino | 58% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | izryshaterboss | 17 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | iz | 11 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | tostino | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Jehovah's Witnesses | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Unicornpooper | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | izryshaterboss | 287 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Unicornpooper | 265 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jehovah's Witnesses | 157 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | tostino | 135 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | iz | 107 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ca$h | +2.93 | 76 | 38 |
| #2 | sk | +2.81 | 79 | 71 |
| #3 | Jehovah's Witnesses | +2.35 | 77 | 65 |
| #4 | kebaba | +2.31 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | tostino | +0.96 | 75 | 65 |





