








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1245 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2311 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2763 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 765 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,339,019 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 356 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $carecrow | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | FreakyBob | 50% | 150 |
| #3 | Sleepy | 45% | 22 |
| #4 | STARHUE | 43% | 81 |
| #5 | marceline the vampire queen | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FreakyBob | 35 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | $carecrow | 11 | 0.0171 |
| #3 | STARHUE | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Sleepy | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | marceline the vampire queen | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FreakyBob | 64 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #2 | STARHUE | 56 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | marceline the vampire queen | 52 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | $carecrow | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sleepy | 27 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $carecrow | +4.63 | 75 | 48 |
| #2 | klairbearr | +1.46 | 50 | 46 |
| #3 | marceline the vampire queen | +0.45 | 13 | 17 |
| #4 | Sleepy | -0.28 | 34 | 17 |
| #5 | STARHUE | -1.17 | 38 | 44 |





