








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 888 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 822 | 26% |
| Smokes | 522 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 900 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 865 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $561,480 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Labubu | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | klairbearr | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | STARHUE | 50% | 98 |
| #4 | Wagwanvon | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | SizzlingTurtle3 | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STARHUE | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Wagwanvon | 8 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | klairbearr | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | SizzlingTurtle3 | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STARHUE | 120 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | klairbearr | 55 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | SizzlingTurtle3 | 47 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | John Labubu | 45 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wagwanvon | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $carecrow | +4.35 | 75 | 45 |
| #2 | John Labubu | +2.96 | 64 | 51 |
| #3 | SizzlingTurtle3 | +1.36 | 32 | 46 |
| #4 | klairbearr | -0.01 | 41 | 59 |
| #5 | STARHUE | -0.81 | 44 | 47 |





