










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 293 | 18% |
| Smokes | 764 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 257 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 295 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $251,451 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klairbearr | 50% | 150 |
| #2 | marceline the vampire queen | 38% | 21 |
| #3 | STARHUE | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klairbearr | 50% | 150 |
| #2 | marceline the vampire queen | 38% | 21 |
| #3 | STARHUE | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klairbearr | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | marceline the vampire queen | 3 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klairbearr | 108 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | marceline the vampire queen | 49 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | STARHUE | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klairbearr | +3.29 | 54 | 47 |
| #2 | marceline the vampire queen | +1.51 | 13 | 18 |
| #3 | FreakyBob | -2.16 | 35 | 18 |
| #4 | STARHUE | -2.60 | 37 | 32 |





