








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 171 matches | ||
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 212 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6515 | 20% |
| Smokes | 9190 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 9426 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7608 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,739,015 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Kräuter Kühni | 49% | 148 |
| #10 | ⓂⒶⓃⒾ | 45% | 71 |
| #11 | AWPortunity | 45% | 132 |
| #12 | kolalabaer | 42% | 108 |
| #13 | lKi lR o lXl DROP.SKIN | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4rpy | 19 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Amorph | 19 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | kolalabaer | 15 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Kuschelbär | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Liomnat0r | 11 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amorph | 1219 | 0.21 | 31 min |
| #2 | Liomnat0r | 849 | 0.32 | 21 min |
| #3 | k4rpy | 681 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #4 | kolalabaer | 556 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #5 | Kräuter Kühni | 507 | 0.17 | 10 min |





