








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 600 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 282 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 904 | 9% |
| Smokes | 3672 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2122 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3093 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,147,148 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 764 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | rUiizy | 64% | 144 |
| #3 | angebahia | 62% | 143 |
| #4 | ✪ dotcom | 61% | 71 |
| #5 | Leetify | 59% | 97 |
| #6 | B. | 57% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angebahia | 25 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | B. | 17 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | rUiizy | 11 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | ✪ dotcom | 10 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Leetify | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angebahia | 220 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | B. | 106 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪ dotcom | 103 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | rUiizy | 100 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Leetify | 4 | 0.00 | 0 min |





