








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 248 matches | ||
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1640 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2632 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3558 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3565 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,931 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zarheksA | 74% | 35 |
| #2 | Askehraz | 57% | 185 |
| #3 | ✪ dotcom | 54% | 72 |
| #4 | rUiizy | 54% | 174 |
| #5 | angebahia | 50% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Askehraz | 57% | 185 |
| #3 | ✪ dotcom | 54% | 72 |
| #4 | rUiizy | 54% | 174 |
| #5 | angebahia | 50% | 72 |
| #6 | Leetify | 45% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Askehraz | 27 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | rUiizy | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | angebahia | 14 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | ✪ dotcom | 10 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | zarheksA | 9 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rUiizy | 110 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #2 | angebahia | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪ dotcom | 69 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Askehraz | 43 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | zarheksA | 25 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zarheksA | +5.43 | 82 | 38 |
| #2 | Askehraz | +4.18 | 79 | 32 |
| #3 | angebahia | +1.64 | 55 | 57 |
| #4 | rUiizy | +0.70 | 70 | 46 |
| #5 | ✪ dotcom | -0.52 | 54 | 43 |





