








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 857 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1239 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1370 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1099 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,031 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MRxRED | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | ΞRNIE™ | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | racooooon | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | franK | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MRxRED | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | ΞRNIE™ | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | racooooon | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | franK | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | franK | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | ΞRNIE™ | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | franK | 113 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | ΞRNIE™ | 62 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | racooooon | 37 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | MRxRED | 27 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ΞRNIE™ | +3.27 | 98 | 61 |
| #2 | racooooon | +2.65 | 85 | 64 |
| #3 | MRxRED | +1.36 | 82 | 79 |
| #4 | 𝕵𝖚𝖑𝖎𝖊 | -0.71 | 80 | 60 |
| #5 | franK | -1.47 | 72 | 71 |





