








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 868 | 30% |
| Smokes | 896 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 476 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 693 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $199,879 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕵𝖚𝖑𝖎𝖊 | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | MRxRED | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | Swynnix | 71% | 21 |
| #4 | Koltan | 64% | 47 |
| #5 | racooooon | 59% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | pr0mise | 40% | 10 |
| #12 | mYTHAEL | 33% | 6 |
| #13 | gozu | 33% | 6 |
| #14 | ben-hi | 33% | 9 |
| #15 | Paul L | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koltan | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | racooooon | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | 𝕵𝖚𝖑𝖎𝖊 | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koltan | 271 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | tabbz | 165 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | racooooon | 143 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | twitch.tv/failycs | 116 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | edox | 70 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MRxRED | +2.43 | 80 | 76 |
| #2 | tabbz | +1.74 | 81 | 74 |
| #3 | Koltan | +1.71 | 83 | 70 |
| #4 | edox | +1.50 | 85 | 71 |
| #5 | Paul L | +1.10 | 68 | 70 |





