








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2385 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2162 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1643 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1345 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,622 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 803 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elcado | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | emuj | 65% | 63 |
| #3 | xore | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | Nipa | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | emma | 56% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | luasma | 53% | 34 |
| #7 | 𝕵𝖚𝖑𝖎𝖊 | 52% | 25 |
| #8 | Waldee | 50% | 72 |
| #9 | Siljeeeh | 41% | 17 |
| #10 | miLo♡ | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕵𝖚𝖑𝖎𝖊 | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | xore | 4 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | luasma | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Waldee | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | emuj | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waldee | 254 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | emuj | 171 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | luasma | 111 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Elcado | 109 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | emma | 101 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emuj | +2.82 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | Waldee | +2.41 | 82 | 75 |
| #3 | Nipa | +0.70 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | emma | +0.00 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | franK | -0.32 | 69 | 71 |





