








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,980 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1661 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1243 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2923 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1153 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,451,309 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poet | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Voice | 60% | 42 |
| #3 | no captai | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | DeeJers | 58% | 60 |
| #5 | Cold | 53% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Nixs | 46% | 46 |
| #10 | KingPyroe | 41% | 103 |
| #11 | Bee | 39% | 28 |
| #12 | Roach | 39% | 31 |
| #13 | angelj93 | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingPyroe | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Roach | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Cold | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Voice | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | burp | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeeJers | 288 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | burp | 276 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Cold | 226 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | KingPyroe | 199 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Voice | 162 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poet | +3.37 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | no captai | +3.17 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | Bee | +0.87 | 81 | 42 |
| #4 | Nixs | +0.46 | 58 | 51 |
| #5 | Noda | +0.42 | 82 | 55 |





