








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1790 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2363 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2026 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1346 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 627 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,184,013 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 666 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tobe4funas | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | YoshiTheTaxEvadingNonce | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | nameless. | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | Venturian | 51% | 47 |
| #5 | Raix | 51% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Vlhalla | 51% | 71 |
| #7 | Sh4duw | 51% | 87 |
| #8 | ToodlesGaming | 47% | 74 |
| #9 | jimmy torkoneous slackster | 27% | 60 |
| #10 | Ryze | 23% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimmy torkoneous slackster | 33 | 0.0293 |
| #2 | Ryze | 29 | 0.0401 |
| #3 | Venturian | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | nameless. | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Raix | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raix | 441 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Sh4duw | 349 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Vlhalla | 272 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | ToodlesGaming | 257 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | jimmy torkoneous slackster | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vlhalla | +3.71 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | Ryze | +2.97 | 84 | 56 |
| #3 | Raix | +1.02 | 62 | 64 |
| #4 | nameless. | +0.99 | 50 | 59 |
| #5 | tobe4funas | +0.32 | 56 | 73 |





