








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 828 | 30% |
| Smokes | 279 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 883 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 796 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $247,446 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikael Jarkkoniemi | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | OikeeKirdez | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | trax | 48% | 40 |
| #4 | Lar3z ツ | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | timppati | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | elq | 45% | 29 |
| #8 | Master goose | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | L4wrenceb0b | 41% | 17 |
| #10 | athes | 40% | 45 |
| #11 | Jnu | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | athes | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Jnu | 3 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | trax | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Mikk3 | 2 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | elq | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trax | 139 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | athes | 101 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | elq | 82 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lar3z ツ | 78 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Master goose | 51 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L4wrenceb0b | +6.46 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | OikeeKirdez | +2.53 | 66 | 70 |
| #3 | Jnu | +1.67 | 84 | 54 |
| #4 | Lar3z ツ | +1.33 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | elq | +0.50 | 60 | 71 |





