








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 285 matches | ||
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 125 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3862 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3430 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2692 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5433 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,260,063 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 433 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benito | 58% | 53 |
| #2 | ARI | 56% | 57 |
| #3 | Willis | 53% | 74 |
| #4 | RAT | 52% | 280 |
| #5 | Squ1d_4k | 49% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ARI | 56% | 57 |
| #3 | Willis | 53% | 74 |
| #4 | RAT | 52% | 280 |
| #5 | Squ1d_4k | 49% | 87 |
| #6 | blxssom <3 | 49% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAT | 22 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Squ1d_4k | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | blxssom <3 | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | ARI | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAT | 2012 | 0.33 | 57 min |
| #2 | blxssom <3 | 593 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | Squ1d_4k | 319 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | ARI | 274 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #5 | Willis | 218 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benito | +1.97 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | RAT | +1.74 | 78 | 72 |
| #3 | Squ1d_4k | +0.68 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | Willis | +0.39 | 55 | 67 |
| #5 | duskcylinder935 f in chat | -0.16 | 81 | 57 |





