








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,828 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1118 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2544 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1782 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2384 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $722,762 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2w1ce | 67% | 55 |
| #2 | Samboucaaa | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | Psychopomp | 64% | 58 |
| #4 | HiiBRID | 60% | 90 |
| #5 | RecrO. | 59% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | RecrO. | 59% | 143 |
| #6 | LifesizePenguin | 59% | 56 |
| #7 | Dibble | 56% | 102 |
| #8 | zCBN5zz | 55% | 358 |
| #9 | K! | 49% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zCBN5zz | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | RecrO. | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Dibble | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | HiiBRID | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | K! | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zCBN5zz | 1251 | 0.18 | 34 min |
| #2 | LifesizePenguin | 311 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dibble | 261 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | RecrO. | 144 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | HiiBRID | 136 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dibble | +4.08 | 89 | 66 |
| #2 | Psychopomp | +2.82 | 87 | 42 |
| #3 | 2w1ce | +1.53 | 82 | 44 |
| #4 | zCBN5zz | +0.79 | 78 | 65 |
| #5 | RecrO. | +0.52 | 81 | 37 |





