








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1385 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1428 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1018 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1344 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,012 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OrnateRope | 83% | 23 |
| #2 | tej | 79% | 19 |
| #3 | MOOSELFLiES | 78% | 23 |
| #4 | CRADDOCK | 77% | 13 |
| #5 | isaiah | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | CRADDOCK | 77% | 13 |
| #5 | isaiah | 55% | 22 |
| #6 | YASR | 51% | 41 |
| #7 | Clive | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | Chogama | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chogama | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | MOOSELFLiES | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | tej | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | CRADDOCK | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YASR | 208 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Chogama | 123 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | MOOSELFLiES | 119 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | OrnateRope | 98 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | isaiah | 72 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OrnateRope | +3.06 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | CRADDOCK | +1.63 | 86 | 59 |
| #3 | °Risk | +0.74 | 86 | 57 |
| #4 | tej | +0.43 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | Chogama | -0.01 | 85 | 55 |





