








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4723 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3302 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2139 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3985 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $841,774 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | °Risk | 83% | 23 |
| #2 | CRADDOCK | 75% | 28 |
| #3 | tej | 72% | 46 |
| #4 | MOOSELFLiES | 67% | 58 |
| #5 | Rus5_ | 60% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | °Risk | 83% | 23 |
| #2 | CRADDOCK | 75% | 28 |
| #3 | tej | 72% | 46 |
| #4 | MOOSELFLiES | 67% | 58 |
| #5 | Rus5_ | 60% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rus5_ | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | °Risk | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | tej | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | MOOSELFLiES | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | CRADDOCK | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rus5_ | 646 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #2 | MOOSELFLiES | 308 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #3 | tej | 84 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | CRADDOCK | 79 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | °Risk | 64 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OrnateRope | +3.50 | 91 | 65 |
| #2 | CRADDOCK | +1.29 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | tej | +0.75 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | °Risk | +0.72 | 87 | 57 |
| #5 | MOOSELFLiES | +0.17 | 75 | 72 |





