








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 389 | 22% |
| Smokes | 597 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 438 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 327 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,599 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChickenHD | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Mohammed Rajab Wali | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | gronk | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Mike Nolan | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | xu_xu_bird | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ARTIFICE | 33% | 9 |
| #8 | b3t | 32% | 22 |
| #9 | hs4v | 28% | 25 |
| #10 | 76561198399920145 | 17% | 6 |
| #11 | ChickenHD | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b3t | 13 | 0.0263 |
| #2 | hs4v | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | ChickenHD | 4 | 0.0370 |
| #4 | Mike Nolan | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | ChickenHD | 2 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hs4v | 163 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | b3t | 90 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mike Nolan | 76 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | ChickenHD | 40 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | ARTIFICE | 40 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xu_xu_bird | +5.49 | 84 | 40 |
| #2 | b3t | +3.36 | 86 | 64 |
| #3 | Mohammed Rajab Wali | +3.14 | 56 | 53 |
| #4 | ChickenHD | +2.14 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | gronk | +1.12 | 70 | 49 |





