








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4732 | 43% |
| Smokes | 2597 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1324 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2329 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,659 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kungfuhamster32 | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | smiLe | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | /Trippy/ | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | xo | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | katalyyst | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BocchiTheAwp | 14 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | LoadingMagic | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | xo | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | smiLe | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | dogalyyst | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smiLe | 176 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #2 | dogalyyst | 111 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | BocchiTheAwp | 103 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | xo | 95 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | katalyyst | 93 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoadingMagic | +2.93 | 76 | 52 |
| #2 | kaleq | +1.70 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | smiLe | +1.65 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | katalyyst | +1.18 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | HatTapper | +0.59 | 74 | 50 |





