








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2009 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 378 matches | ||
| Wingman | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2837 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3268 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3110 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2700 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,893,648 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1006 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gary | 54% | 91 |
| #2 | Patch | 53% | 373 |
| #3 | starkist thai chili tuna | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | Alex Jones | 47% | 119 |
| #5 | -YT-Papercrinkly-TTV- | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gary | 54% | 91 |
| #2 | Patch | 53% | 373 |
| #3 | starkist thai chili tuna | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | Alex Jones | 47% | 119 |
| #5 | -YT-Papercrinkly-TTV- | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patch | 23 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Gary | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Alex Jones | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | starkist thai chili tuna | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | -YT-Papercrinkly-TTV- | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patch | 468 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #2 | Alex Jones | 102 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | -YT-Papercrinkly-TTV- | 55 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Gary | 34 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | starkist thai chili tuna | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pickle | +3.01 | 90 | 47 |
| #2 | Patch | -0.41 | 62 | 58 |
| #3 | Gary | -0.42 | 54 | 26 |
| #4 | -YT-Papercrinkly-TTV- | -0.45 | 50 | 52 |
| #5 | starkist thai chili tuna | -1.23 | 58 | 27 |





