








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 691 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,086 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4153 | 13% |
| Smokes | 10645 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 9027 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7261 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,122,309 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1356 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starkist thai chili tuna | 55% | 304 |
| #2 | Gary | 53% | 232 |
| #3 | KAZY | 52% | 52 |
| #4 | Patch | 51% | 408 |
| #5 | GATOR | 49% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Moose | 47% | 85 |
| #7 | Pickle | 47% | 119 |
| #8 | â•DirtyBubble | 47% | 103 |
| #9 | -YT-Papercrinkly-TTV- | 43% | 288 |
| #10 | Captain .38 Special | 40% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patch | 30 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Gary | 17 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | -YT-Papercrinkly-TTV- | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | starkist thai chili tuna | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Moose | 7 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patch | 386 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #2 | -YT-Papercrinkly-TTV- | 358 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #3 | Moose | 354 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | GATOR | 150 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Pickle | 133 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pickle | +3.74 | 90 | 54 |
| #2 | -YT-Papercrinkly-TTV- | +1.71 | 61 | 55 |
| #3 | Gary | +1.60 | 61 | 23 |
| #4 | starkist thai chili tuna | +1.55 | 57 | 28 |
| #5 | Patch | +1.29 | 61 | 55 |





