








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1097 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 654 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 161 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3315 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4771 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4116 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4306 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,398,498 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | starkist thai chili tuna | 47% | 38 |
| #6 | Captain .38 Special | 45% | 88 |
| #7 | Alex Jones | 43% | 288 |
| #8 | Patch | 42% | 43 |
| #9 | Pickle | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moose | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | â•DirtyBubble | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Alex Jones | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Captain .38 Special | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | eN1gma | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moose | 896 | 0.24 | 21 min |
| #2 | â•DirtyBubble | 253 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Alex Jones | 224 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | Captain .38 Special | 82 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Patch | 54 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pickle | +3.83 | 92 | 57 |
| #2 | -YT-Papercrinkly-TTV- | +2.07 | 63 | 56 |
| #3 | Patch | +0.58 | 52 | 63 |
| #4 | â•DirtyBubble | +0.38 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | starkist thai chili tuna | -0.29 | 59 | 31 |





