








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 485 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 303 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




121 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4990 | 15% |
| Smokes | 11156 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 6766 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 9671 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,173,506 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1780 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starkist thai chili tuna | 57% | 305 |
| #2 | Pickle | 53% | 373 |
| #3 | Gary | 52% | 299 |
| #4 | Alex Jones | 51% | 408 |
| #5 | KAZY | 49% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starkist thai chili tuna | 57% | 305 |
| #2 | Pickle | 53% | 373 |
| #3 | Gary | 52% | 299 |
| #4 | Alex Jones | 51% | 408 |
| #5 | KAZY | 49% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gary | 23 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Alex Jones | 17 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Pickle | 15 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | KAZY | 15 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | starkist thai chili tuna | 9 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pickle | 348 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #2 | Alex Jones | 312 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #3 | KAZY | 150 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gary | 61 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | starkist thai chili tuna | 36 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pickle | +3.04 | 90 | 51 |
| #2 | starkist thai chili tuna | +1.74 | 61 | 25 |
| #3 | Gary | +0.96 | 63 | 24 |
| #4 | Patch | +0.69 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | Alex Jones | -1.03 | 55 | 63 |





