








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Esplay | 86 matches | 1,413 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3771 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5942 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3846 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4756 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2341 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,415,916 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vanvetaren | 68% | 99 |
| #2 | Allram | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Little John | 62% | 84 |
| #4 | FARFARN | 61% | 101 |
| #5 | Fnaske | 59% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FARFARN | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Little John | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Buff Jesus | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | vanvetaren | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Fnaske | 2 | 0.0015 |





