








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 469 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 502 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8619 | 28% |
| Smokes | 10197 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5353 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6796 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,206,799 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Lord Habibi | 51% | 99 |
| #12 | Sicario | 50% | 50 |
| #13 | Quack | 49% | 83 |
| #14 | Hoshino Ichika | 49% | 47 |
| #15 | Stavn & Jabbi Rats | 44% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vocs | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Lord Habibi | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | πͺπΆπΈπ² π°ππͺπ½π½ β
| 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Stalin | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE | 1192 | 0.19 | 29 min |
| #2 | πͺπΆπΈπ² π°ππͺπ½π½ β
| 663 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | Vocs | 567 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #4 | π πΌ π π π | 545 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #5 | Lord Habibi | 416 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππ€ πππ’π | +2.84 | 88 | 47 |
| #2 | Stalin | +2.45 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | ck_____101 | +1.16 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | πͺπΆπΈπ² π°ππͺπ½π½ β
| +0.83 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE | +0.47 | 49 | 73 |





