








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3668 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5305 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6506 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3805 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3248 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $961,845 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Stalin | 44% | 64 |
| #16 | Vampix | 43% | 35 |
| #17 | Stavn & Jabbi Rats | 41% | 34 |
| #18 | Lord Habibi | 41% | 61 |
| #19 | HERE GABENNNNNNNN | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vocs | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Lord Habibi | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | ππ€ πππ’π | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | HERE GABENNNNNNNN | 5 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | ck_____101 | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vocs | 700 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #2 | HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE | 681 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #3 | ck_____101 | 523 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #4 | πͺπΆπΈπ² π°ππͺπ½π½ β
| 398 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | Lord Habibi | 194 | 0.15 | 4 min |





