








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 380 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,767 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2561 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2122 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3064 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3020 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,132,161 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROWDY.CS | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | Akuryo | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | mills | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | Zyuwu | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | ReeCe | 55% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | liable | 48% | 27 |
| #13 | Cornbread | 48% | 23 |
| #14 | Doodyl | 47% | 45 |
| #15 | Shado? | 41% | 32 |
| #16 | cyberus | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Triggern0m3try | 471 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #2 | Packy | 309 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Zyuwu | 206 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| #4 | King | 174 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | mills | 129 | 0.24 | 4 min |





