








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 231 matches | ||
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,514 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3442 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4997 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3316 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3759 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,013,623 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mellow | 53% | 62 |
| #2 | Wag | 53% | 99 |
| #3 | hayden1 | 52% | 73 |
| #4 | Dr. Jal | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Doodyl | 49% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | hayden1 | 52% | 73 |
| #4 | Dr. Jal | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Doodyl | 49% | 114 |
| #6 | Packy | 48% | 141 |
| #7 | ReeCe | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doodyl | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Packy | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Mellow | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Wag | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | hayden1 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Packy | 343 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Doodyl | 267 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Mellow | 218 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | hayden1 | 167 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wag | 149 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReeCe | +2.56 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | Wag | +1.64 | 66 | 56 |
| #3 | Packy | +1.03 | 71 | 61 |
| #4 | Mellow | +0.66 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | King | +0.26 | 74 | 52 |





