








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 688 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 797 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4227 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2106 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1672 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3090 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,692,669 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1533 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ndr1x | 53% | 47 |
| #2 | Meth-AnKretmine | 53% | 49 |
| #3 | Lupin | 52% | 175 |
| #4 | Rob | 47% | 131 |
| #5 | r2scal | 45% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ndr1x | 53% | 47 |
| #2 | Meth-AnKretmine | 53% | 49 |
| #3 | Lupin | 52% | 175 |
| #4 | Rob | 47% | 131 |
| #5 | r2scal | 45% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r2scal | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Meth-AnKretmine | 8 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Lupin | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Rob | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | h3ndr1x | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rob | 256 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lupin | 150 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | r2scal | 112 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Meth-AnKretmine | 103 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | h3ndr1x | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ndr1x | +2.18 | 38 | 44 |
| #2 | Kald The Dullahan | +0.52 | 59 | 40 |
| #3 | Meth-AnKretmine | -0.32 | 29 | 56 |
| #4 | Rob | -1.66 | 24 | 53 |
| #5 | Lupin | -2.49 | 25 | 50 |





