








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
88 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 257 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 98 | 38% |
| Smokes | 61 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 38 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 60 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $22,336 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Non-Prime Experience | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | trepX | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Daroko | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | CarSex537 | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | kayo | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Daroko | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | CarSex537 | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | kayo | 60% | 5 |
| #6 | crazywombat11689 | 50% | 2 |
| #7 | bite booty cheeks | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bite booty cheeks | 2 | 0.0260 |
| #2 | trepX | 1 | 0.0192 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crazywombat11689 | 15 | 0.33 | 0 min |
| #2 | CarSex537 | 11 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | Daroko | 9 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | kayo | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | trepX | 8 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daroko | +2.26 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | The Non-Prime Experience | +1.32 | 84 | 8 |
| #3 | :) | +1.19 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | crazywombat11689 | +0.98 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | CarSex537 | +0.23 | 65 | 51 |





