








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2443 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3323 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2733 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1348 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2561 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $727,386 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Non-Prime Experience | 55% | 51 |
| #2 | RY | 50% | 78 |
| #3 | trepX | 50% | 98 |
| #4 | CarSex537 | 44% | 183 |
| #5 | kayo | 39% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | trepX | 50% | 98 |
| #4 | CarSex537 | 44% | 183 |
| #5 | kayo | 39% | 54 |
| #6 | bite booty cheeks | 38% | 48 |
| #7 | crazywombat11689 | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarSex537 | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | RY | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | kayo | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | trepX | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | crazywombat11689 | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RY | 494 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #2 | CarSex537 | 271 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | trepX | 204 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | kayo | 173 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | crazywombat11689 | 97 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RY | +3.79 | 71 | 86 |
| #2 | Daroko | +1.03 | 73 | 74 |
| #3 | The Non-Prime Experience | +0.90 | 86 | 33 |
| #4 | crazywombat11689 | +0.81 | 76 | 66 |
| #5 | kayo | +0.33 | 75 | 49 |





