










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1097 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 540 matches | ||
| Premier | 476 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7783 | 22% |
| Smokes | 10450 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8282 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8618 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,570,774 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1939 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orca Whale | 64% | 76 |
| #2 | Meowdy | 63% | 83 |
| #3 | Sano | 59% | 123 |
| #4 | RY | 51% | 359 |
| #5 | The Non-Prime Experience | 51% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sano | 59% | 123 |
| #4 | RY | 51% | 359 |
| #5 | The Non-Prime Experience | 51% | 89 |
| #6 | CarSex537 | 50% | 290 |
| #7 | Daroko | 50% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RY | 25 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Meowdy | 10 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Sano | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | CarSex537 | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Daroko | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RY | 2288 | 0.30 | 64 min |
| #2 | CarSex537 | 511 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | Daroko | 368 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | Meowdy | 344 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #5 | Sano | 209 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meowdy | +4.15 | 70 | 78 |
| #2 | RY | +3.51 | 71 | 85 |
| #3 | The Non-Prime Experience | +0.45 | 85 | 32 |
| #4 | Daroko | +0.12 | 71 | 76 |
| #5 | trepX | -0.31 | 64 | 59 |





