










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1155 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1426 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1476 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2672 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,404,394 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1548 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikey | 64% | 53 |
| #2 | finite | 58% | 111 |
| #3 | ODG LUSIDD | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | jstewart1337 | 55% | 128 |
| #5 | Saintz | 55% | 332 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fght ff yr dmns | 52 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Saintz | 50 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | LiquifiedSnowman | 42 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | ODG LUSIDD | 37 | 0.0434 |
| #5 | jstewart1337 | 24 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fght ff yr dmns | 804 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | Saintz | 695 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | LiquifiedSnowman | 692 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #4 | finite | 548 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #5 | mikey | 330 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ODG LUSIDD | +5.09 | 94 | 28 |
| #2 | Saintz | +4.87 | 86 | 50 |
| #3 | mikey | +4.25 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | finite | +4.12 | 80 | 66 |
| #5 | LiquifiedSnowman | +3.30 | 75 | 55 |





