








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 934 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6217 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5415 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6650 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5305 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,613,382 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 558 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ODG LUSIDD | 63% | 89 |
| #2 | mikey | 57% | 81 |
| #3 | loax | 56% | 66 |
| #4 | Saintz | 56% | 412 |
| #5 | finite | 52% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiquifiedSnowman | 59 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Saintz | 52 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Stitch | 45 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | ODG LUSIDD | 40 | 0.0234 |
| #5 | mikey | 22 | 0.0142 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiquifiedSnowman | 1029 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #2 | Saintz | 863 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #3 | finite | 812 | 0.26 | 24 min |
| #4 | mikey | 483 | 0.31 | 13 min |
| #5 | Stitch | 200 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saintz | +4.02 | 86 | 50 |
| #2 | mikey | +2.81 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | finite | +2.72 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | LiquifiedSnowman | +2.71 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | ODG LUSIDD | +2.67 | 92 | 38 |





