








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 270 | 8% |
| Smokes | 709 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 929 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1276 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,834 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOOLIGUN | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | italian BMT | 61% | 113 |
| #3 | Resent | 59% | 111 |
| #4 | HotBoxGod | 57% | 160 |
| #5 | MAU | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | italian BMT | 61% | 113 |
| #3 | Resent | 59% | 111 |
| #4 | HotBoxGod | 57% | 160 |
| #5 | MAU | 52% | 46 |
| #6 | VenGranite | 51% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VenGranite | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Resent | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | HotBoxGod | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | italian BMT | 319 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | VenGranite | 253 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Resent | 230 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | HotBoxGod | 151 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | MAU | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Resent | +6.55 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | MAU | +5.91 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | italian BMT | +1.06 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | HOOLIGUN | -1.18 | 61 | 62 |
| #5 | Dak | -1.40 | 54 | 40 |





