








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,435 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 714 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1286 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1147 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1288 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,847 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOOLIGUN | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | HotBoxGod | 59% | 110 |
| #3 | italian BMT | 57% | 63 |
| #4 | Dak | 52% | 46 |
| #5 | VenGranite | 52% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOOLIGUN | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | HotBoxGod | 59% | 110 |
| #3 | italian BMT | 57% | 63 |
| #4 | Dak | 52% | 46 |
| #5 | VenGranite | 52% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HotBoxGod | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | VenGranite | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | italian BMT | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | HOOLIGUN | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | italian BMT | 157 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | VenGranite | 124 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | HotBoxGod | 56 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | HOOLIGUN | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dak | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAU | +6.04 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | italian BMT | +0.11 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | Dak | -1.25 | 60 | 41 |
| #4 | HotBoxGod | -1.57 | 72 | 22 |
| #5 | VenGranite | -1.90 | 39 | 58 |





