








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2504 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2165 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2331 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2267 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,732 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOOLIGUN | 68% | 53 |
| #2 | Resent | 64% | 152 |
| #3 | HotBoxGod | 63% | 219 |
| #4 | Dak | 61% | 113 |
| #5 | MAU | 57% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Resent | 64% | 152 |
| #3 | HotBoxGod | 63% | 219 |
| #4 | Dak | 61% | 113 |
| #5 | MAU | 57% | 63 |
| #6 | VenGranite | 54% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HotBoxGod | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Resent | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Dak | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | VenGranite | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | HOOLIGUN | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Resent | 324 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | VenGranite | 257 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | HotBoxGod | 209 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | MAU | 102 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | HOOLIGUN | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Resent | +6.11 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | MAU | +5.36 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | italian BMT | +0.46 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | HOOLIGUN | -0.31 | 58 | 63 |
| #5 | Dak | -1.20 | 54 | 40 |





