








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1495 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2075 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2081 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1359 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $361,830 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vxlℤøツ | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | SamppaLinna | 64% | 69 |
| #3 | pillunmussuttaja | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | Turvakypärä Samuel | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | JeomiBoi | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koulutettu Genitaalihieroja | 23 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | Otukka On Top! | 17 | 0.0297 |
| #3 | Vxlℤøツ | 8 | 0.0281 |
| #4 | pillunmussuttaja | 7 | 0.0129 |
| #5 | SamppaLinna | 6 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koulutettu Genitaalihieroja | 215 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | SamppaLinna | 170 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Otukka On Top! | 86 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Turvakypärä Samuel | 71 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | pillunmussuttaja | 64 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pillunmussuttaja | +4.05 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | Vxlℤøツ | +3.30 | 88 | 43 |
| #3 | Kapelli | +2.02 | 69 | 44 |
| #4 | SamppaLinna | +1.66 | 58 | 66 |
| #5 | Turvakypärä Samuel | +1.11 | 63 | 66 |





