








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1388 | 19% |
| Smokes | 799 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 2760 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2274 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $831,215 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ttsmstr | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | ✪ IMJOSEMOURINHO | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | Daimps | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | KR | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | M I K E | 47% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Daimps | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | KR | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | M I K E | 47% | 148 |
| #6 | Sviit Hõum | 47% | 178 |
| #7 | Kaloss | 42% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M I K E | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Sviit Hõum | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Daimps | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Kaloss | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | ttsmstr | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sviit Hõum | 355 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Kaloss | 305 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Daimps | 205 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | M I K E | 196 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ IMJOSEMOURINHO | 97 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ IMJOSEMOURINHO | +3.88 | 67 | 76 |
| #2 | ra1ts | +0.86 | 46 | 52 |
| #3 | ttsmstr | +0.86 | 37 | 46 |
| #4 | Daimps | +0.56 | 52 | 44 |
| #5 | KR | -0.11 | 37 | 54 |





