








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3605 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2047 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2017 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1343 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $847,006 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daimond Helari | 18 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Sviit Hõum | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ra1ts | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Monkeman | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | M I K E | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daimond Helari | 323 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | Sviit Hõum | 268 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Monkeman | 253 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | ✪ IMJOSEMOURINHO | 160 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | ra1ts | 138 | 0.08 | 4 min |





