








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2026 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1899 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2241 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1394 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,142,906 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | echo | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | Nizzy | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Dr. Pumpernickel Bumblethump | 50% | 139 |
| #4 | aliasonline | 45% | 168 |
| #5 | Johnathan Stroker | 45% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nizzy | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Dr. Pumpernickel Bumblethump | 50% | 139 |
| #4 | aliasonline | 45% | 168 |
| #5 | Johnathan Stroker | 45% | 62 |
| #6 | Gynosaur | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Pumpernickel Bumblethump | 20 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | aliasonline | 19 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Johnathan Stroker | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Gynosaur | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aliasonline | 289 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Dr. Pumpernickel Bumblethump | 218 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | echo | 123 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Johnathan Stroker | 77 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gynosaur | 57 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | echo | +2.71 | 77 | 60 |
| #2 | grunk$ta | +0.57 | 36 | 68 |
| #3 | aliasonline | +0.06 | 25 | 69 |
| #4 | Dr. Pumpernickel Bumblethump | -2.12 | 31 | 52 |
| #5 | Gynosaur | -2.16 | 24 | 52 |





