








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 587 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1714 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2881 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2023 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1685 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $881,420 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mute | 50% | 34 |
| #2 | Ne0soft | 49% | 41 |
| #3 | Eggle | 48% | 48 |
| #4 | Pringles | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | OG LOCH | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mute | 50% | 34 |
| #2 | Ne0soft | 49% | 41 |
| #3 | Eggle | 48% | 48 |
| #4 | Pringles | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | OG LOCH | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ne0soft | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | OG LOCH | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Pringles | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ne0soft | 145 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Eggle | 132 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | OG LOCH | 80 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | mute | 75 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pringles | 65 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eggle | +5.87 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | mute | +1.59 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | !just jumpin around! | +0.85 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | Ne0soft | +0.28 | 57 | 53 |
| #5 | OG LOCH | -2.60 | 23 | 57 |





