








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 103 | 17% |
| Smokes | 166 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 201 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 149 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,132 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swag messiah | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Big Dawg; I love wet nachos | 42% | 12 |
| #3 | Waffles | 38% | 48 |
| #4 | Chocolate Sugarlove | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swag messiah | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Big Dawg; I love wet nachos | 42% | 12 |
| #3 | Waffles | 38% | 48 |
| #4 | Chocolate Sugarlove | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waffles | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Chocolate Sugarlove | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waffles | 217 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Big Dawg; I love wet nachos | 38 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Chocolate Sugarlove | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | swag messiah | 10 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swag messiah | +7.28 | 86 | 70 |
| #2 | Waffles | +2.16 | 62 | 52 |
| #3 | Big Dawg; I love wet nachos | +2.04 | 81 | 57 |
| #4 | Chocolate Sugarlove | -0.11 | 56 | 34 |
| #5 | pokemon master | -4.34 | 28 | 34 |





