








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,157 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1425 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2009 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2748 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2975 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,375 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 777 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 猫娘が大好き | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | AirDog46 | 54% | 79 |
| #3 | Hammer World Editor | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | a1ko_ | 52% | 136 |
| #5 | xandrei | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a1ko_ | 41 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | AirDog46 | 22 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | Free Brisket | 18 | 0.0148 |
| #4 | Hammer World Editor | 12 | 0.0122 |
| #5 | xandrei | 11 | 0.0210 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LekëTheHumble | 105 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Puneet Ballabh | 100 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | a1ko_ | 74 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | 猫娘が大好き | 45 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Free Brisket | 42 | 0.03 | 0 min |





