








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1033 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 213 | 9% |
| Smokes | 729 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 775 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 764 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $567,640 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Griz | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | Forrest Crump | 52% | 65 |
| #3 | BillyBob | 50% | 124 |
| #4 | AWPtism | 49% | 144 |
| #5 | kingspoder | 41% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Griz | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | Forrest Crump | 52% | 65 |
| #3 | BillyBob | 50% | 124 |
| #4 | AWPtism | 49% | 144 |
| #5 | kingspoder | 41% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPtism | 15 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | BillyBob | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | kingspoder | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Forrest Crump | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Griz | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPtism | 352 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | BillyBob | 331 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | kingspoder | 34 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Forrest Crump | 32 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Griz | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BillyBob | +2.18 | 53 | 49 |
| #2 | AWPtism | +1.57 | 47 | 67 |
| #3 | Squirrel Fart | -0.46 | 52 | 21 |
| #4 | Griz | -1.09 | 52 | 39 |
| #5 | Forrest Crump | -1.72 | 32 | 29 |





