








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 815 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2113 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2367 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1482 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,632 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPtism | 43% | 225 |
| #2 | Forrest Crump | 42% | 131 |
| #3 | Larry Fisherman | 41% | 56 |
| #4 | Squirrel Fart | 41% | 71 |
| #5 | BillyBob | 38% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPtism | 43% | 225 |
| #2 | Forrest Crump | 42% | 131 |
| #3 | Larry Fisherman | 41% | 56 |
| #4 | Squirrel Fart | 41% | 71 |
| #5 | BillyBob | 38% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPtism | 29 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | BillyBob | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Forrest Crump | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Squirrel Fart | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Larry Fisherman | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPtism | 611 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | BillyBob | 406 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Larry Fisherman | 128 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Forrest Crump | 69 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Squirrel Fart | 17 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPtism | +1.92 | 52 | 66 |
| #2 | BillyBob | +1.41 | 50 | 53 |
| #3 | Squirrel Fart | -0.51 | 52 | 21 |
| #4 | Larry Fisherman | -0.73 | 34 | 48 |
| #5 | Forrest Crump | -2.13 | 28 | 32 |





