








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 428 | 33% |
| Smokes | 581 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 185 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 105 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,940 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squirrel Fart | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | Larry Fisherman | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Forrest Crump | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | AWPtism | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | BillyBob | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Larry Fisherman | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Forrest Crump | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | AWPtism | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | BillyBob | 47% | 38 |
| #6 | kingspoder | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPtism | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | BillyBob | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Squirrel Fart | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Forrest Crump | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPtism | 123 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | BillyBob | 102 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Larry Fisherman | 26 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #4 | Squirrel Fart | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | kingspoder | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BillyBob | +2.39 | 55 | 53 |
| #2 | AWPtism | +0.91 | 53 | 63 |
| #3 | Griz | -0.00 | 46 | 30 |
| #4 | Larry Fisherman | -0.06 | 37 | 51 |
| #5 | Squirrel Fart | -0.75 | 59 | 17 |





